Lets talk High School

Oh boy here we go…..

My school years was pretty usual for a high school kid. I wasn’t popular or had a lot of friends. But thing I was, was a class clown. I pretty much made most people laugh. My seventh grade year I had a difficult time making a lot of “popular” friends because of two reasons. 1 I’m black and 2 I’m shy….now people wouldn’t think so. But not only was I shy I looked like a bum. As a kid if you didn’t have new clothes or new shoes for school other kids look at you as if you are poor. My brothers and I got that look pretty much all the time. I remember I was in the 7th grade and I was in the gym, playing basketball. I was playing with this kid and I went up for a rebound and so did he. I was out weighed by at least 75lbs and he landed on top of me. Yeah….it didn’t feel good. I ended up fracturing my hip and I lay there on the gym floor in pain and shedding tears. Now most kids you would think, at least come over and see if you’re ok or see if you need help……not exactly.

As I lay there all I could hear was kids laughing at me and high fiving the kid that landed on me as if he accomplished a major defeat. Needless to say the EMT’s came and they removed my sneakers from my feet. My socks for lack of a better term were hard as concreter and black as tar. The look the lady gave me was unforgettable I couldn’t erase that look if I could. “I’m sorry” I told her. “It’s not your fault” she said to me. I couldn’t help but be embarrassed as they removed the other shoe. I’m not going to even talk about the smell….yeah it’s the kind of smell that would make you want to slap the shit out of somebody. But anyway, they took me to the hospital and they said you have a fractured hip. So they told me they were going to call my parents and they’ll go from there. The one emt lady that came to the school came and sat with me until one of my parents arrived. “Are you poor?” she asked me. I said “no I don’t think so.” before I could get another word our she handed me a brand new pair of socks. “No kid should go to school with those kind of clothes on”. And of course I shed another tear “thank you ma’am.” and she slowly put the socks on my feet and left the other one next to me until after the X-RAY.

So, in comes my step mother and asks the doctor what happened. I’m laying there and then she starts yelling at me as if I did something wrong.” I have no business leaving work to come get you from school.” I’m sitting there looking like what fuck did I do. I guess it’s safe to say I really didn’t like her to begin with. I never liked her ever since my dad married her and the only reason why I called her my mother was because my asked us to. I wanted my dad to like me and be proud of me so I did.

So anyway back to the story, I was grounded when she brought me home. Like I said she felt like she shouldn’t have left work to come get me. The next day when I went to school, the only person that would help me out was my best friends{whose names I won’t mention} never the less it was only 3 of them, that would help me. The one kid that did this to me did apologize only because his mother made him. So I was crutching for awhile until my hip got better. After that I was pretty much back to normal I joined the basketball team. I wasn’t a starter on the team I sat on the bench until they needed me to play, and most games I didn’t get to play…ask me why? HAHAHAHA yeah anyway…..I wasn’t the best player on the team but I wasn’t the worst either. So as a scrawny little kid that didn’t play much what would have done?…..yup, I joined another sport.  And now I’m on the track team. I think that was the best thing I could’ve done. I enjoyed running and jumping and I made a lot of friends doing track. I set some school records and as I know right now they haven’t been broken, 5 records to be exact. Besides running track, I wasn’t the smartest kid in my class but I was average. The main thing I was good for was getting into trouble. Sometimes I would do my homework wrong just to get a reaction out of my teacher. then I would lie and say I didn’t understand the homework and they would give me a passing grade for acting stupid lmao…..yeah I was good for that hell I still am. But most of my troubles didn’t happen at school….they happened at home because at home is where I was troubled….

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Chapter 1 Elementary

The years of elementary were for a lack of better words short and brief. As for my childhood well you’re about to find out. Let’s see where should I begin….well at this time I’m still living in the projects with my mother and my father who pretty much was away at work most of the time. A few years after my baby sister passed away, things got a little easier to adapt to. Although I didn’t know the facts of life and death I was used to not seeing her around, and my mother not holding her or feeding her. At times I would cry or shed a tear because I did miss her. I remember seeing my mother shed a few tears every time I or my brothers would mention my sister. But like I mentioned things did get easier. My time spent in the Perry Projects as a child were simple. I played with my brothers and the other kids in the area and got dirty and argued a lot. as I got older around the ripe age of 5yrs I learned how to fight. Well that’s what I called it anyway. We pretty much just hugged and see who can get dizzy and fall to the ground first. And yes as light in the ass as I was I fell first most of the time. But I learned to throw my opponent off balance with their weight and made them fall first. I “fought” a lot. I even fought for my brothers as well. Especially my little brother because he always ran off his mouth and didn’t care who he was talking to. But anyway getting back to the story, I did have fun. My grandmother stayed around the corner from us s we would go visit her very often. I remember when we got out of school, we would go over there and she would always give us snacks. That was always my favorite reason for going over there, I also enjoyed going because the other people that stayed in that apartment were crazy. As a young child I would see the neighbors over there and some of them wouldn’t have any teeth and they smelled like liquor and cigarettes and other things. I would ask my mom what happened to there teeth and my mom said it happens with old age. I would think hell I don’t want to get old then. My mom would always say that the smell of the liquor was there happy juice or the medicine that they were taking. I don’t ever want to take medicine either. In those years from 5-8 living in the Perry Projects I have seen a lot of drug use and the effects that drugs has on people. Obviously, I didn’t know at the time but now I realize that’s what it was. One of  the biggest secrets I ever kept from my family was that I saw one of the next door neighbors in my apartment complex sucking dick on the stairwell in the hallway right outside of our door. As a child I had no clue what was going on. I just stood there and watched as they kept going and wondering why she was moaning and the guy had his head down and his hands were in her hair and his mouth was wipe open. Next thing I know she had this look on her face like she couldn’t breathe, and then something white came out of her mouth. I just remember being scared for her and then I see her wiping her mouth and smiling. then for some reason she toward our apartment because out door was cracked open with the chain locked so it was only opened just a little bit to allow air through. And as she looked toward the door I seen her face and realized she was the mother of the girl that I liked. My eyes got big as hell, but of course like I said I never said anything to anybody, including the girl I liked. Well as time passed on I seen many crazy things, heard crazy things and did crazy things. I don’t remember having to many bbq’s and family reunions and things like that. Our Christmas, well living in the projects should pretty much tell you how are holidays were. We made toys out of anything. Pick up something glued it together and called it a toy. We made due with what we had. We had each other and we had our mom and my grandmother. My mom even though she really didn’t have money and could barely feed us, she made sure we ate first before she did. If we didn’t have food she would send us over to my grandmother and she would feed us with the food she had. We had rice pretty much most of the time with bologna and ketchup, and a piece of bread or whatever we had. But we go to bed hungry but at times i felt bad because I knew that my mom did. In todays society you might say we were bums because our clothes were passed down from brother to brother, and sometimes they won’t fit properly or they looked dirty. But through all that time we managed to make it threw with each other despite the knockdowns my family took from strangers, racist people or people who just tried to take what little we had, we made it through. The greatest memory I had living in the projects, was my grandmother bought me and my little brother running shoes and my big brother a couple T-shirts. We thought we had just won the lottery or something or that maybe somebody owed us money and they paid up. But I put my sneakers on and I was happier than a pig in shit. We went outside to go play and I took a deep breath and I ran, I just ran……..

Introduction

Wow it’s funny to talking about my life and posting it to a media social site….oh well here I go…..
          My childhood was good and it wasn’t horrifying. I grew up in the Perry Projects in Buffalo, N.Y. in the the 70’s and early 80’s. I had my 2 brothers and 1 sister who passed away at a very young age. She didn’t live to see her 2 birthday, she passed away of a bad heart. I remember that moment as clear as day, my mom had me and my brothers sitting on her lap and was just talking to us. Of course we had no clue what was going on and my little brother asked where she was and my mother simply stated….she sleeping. But I couldn’t understand why the fire department and the ambulance was here…..”what wrong?” I said. My mom just pulled us closer into her arms and just started singing and humming to us, we didn’t even see them carry her away.
          As time passed on I was around 4 or 5 I began to notice parts of my childhood was beginning to up and down. Especially when I started school. I went to a Catholic school and used to get beat up my this little girl lmao!!!! Obviously, I didn’t know how to fight and I told my mom and she said it’s because……that’s right you guessed it…..”she likes you”. Huh?….then why she keep hitting me? She just shook her head and laughed and gave me a ice cream bar. I didn’t want no damn ice cream I wanted to know why the hell she keeps hitting me and it’s not because she likes me…..of course I didn’t say that to her vocally she would’ve slapped the hell out of me lol. So I just figured oh well liking somebody hurts lol when I started 1st grade I never saw her again…..thank you Jesus……